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It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain . This description is both refined , and as far as it goes , accurate . He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him , and he concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself . The true gentlemen carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast ---- all clashing of opinion , or collision of felling , all restraint , or suspicion , or gloom , or resentment ; his great concern being to make everyone at their ease and at home . He has his eyes on all his company , he is seldom prominent in conversation , and never wearisome . He makes light of favors while he dose them , and seems to be receiving when he is conferring . He never speaks of himself except when compelled , never defends himself by a mere retort , he has no ears for slander or gossip , is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him , and interprets everything for the best . He is never mean or little in his disputes , never takes unfair advantage , never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings for arguments , or insinuates evil which he dare not say out .
He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults , he is too well employed to remember injuries , and too indolent to bear malice . He is patient , forbearing , and resigned , on philosophical principles ; he submits to pain because it is inevitable , to bereavement because it is his destiny . He may be right or wrong in his opinion , but he is too clear – headed to be unjust ; he is as simple as he is forcible , and as brief as he is decisive . Nowhere shall we find greater candor , consideration , indulgence ; he throws himself into the minds of his opponents , he accounts for their mistakes . He knows the weakness of human reason as well as its strength , its province and its limits.


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