英语笑话大全 爆笑带翻译一：Part-time Job  兼职工作

When my son was a high-school sophomore, he gota part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket.He came home all smiles.

我儿子在一所中学读二年级时，在一家超级市场找到了一份包装食品的兼职工作。他满面笑容地回到了家。

"How was your first day?" I asked.

“第一天感觉如何?”我问。

"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to somegood-looking girls."

“好极了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟许多漂亮的女孩子说话了。”

Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

由于斯蒂芬不善言谈，我问道：“你跟她们说了些什么?”

"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

“你是喜欢纸包装还是塑料包装?”


英语笑话大全 爆笑带翻译二：谁最懒 Who Is the Laziest

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　中文：

　　父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
　　汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
　　父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
　　汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。


英语笑话大全 爆笑带翻译三：Too Much 太浓了


    I used to have a job painting clown faces on childrenat a flea market. Each day when I arrived, I'd paintmy own face first. One morning as I examined mymakeup in the rest room, I was pleased that myclown white looked even, my mouth and nose shonea suitably garish red, and my bright purple eyebrowsformed perfect triangles. I also noticed a woman at asink nearby watching me and shaking her headdisapprovingly. Finally, on her way out, she tappedmy shoulder and whispered, "Too much!"

    我曾经在跳蚤市场有一份工作，就是把孩子们的脸化妆成小丑。每天来之后，我都要把自己的脸先化好妆。一天早上，我在洗手间检查我化妆的情况，看到自己装扮小丑的白色妆化得很均匀，嘴巴和鼻子上闪着耀眼的红色，恰到好处，鲜亮的紫色眉毛呈完美的三角形，我高兴极了。可我也注意到盥洗槽旁边有个女人，她一直看着我，还不以为然地摇着头。最后，她要出去的时候，拍拍我的肩膀，对我悄悄地说道：“太浓了!”


英语笑话大全 爆笑带翻译四：一切都很好 Been Okay

A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him.

Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned."

Noteblurt v. 突然说出、未加思索地冲口说出　toast n. 烤面包（片）　burn v. 烧、烧焦
"You talked! You talked!" shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taken this long."

"Well, up till now," said the boy, "things have been okay."

　　中文：

　　一对年轻的夫妇对于他们四岁的儿子仍然不会说话这件事非常着急。他们带他去看专家，但是医生们找不出任何不正常的地方。

　　之后有一天早上，这个男孩突然说道：“妈妈，面包拷糊了。”

　　“你说话了！你说话了！”他的妈妈嚷道。“我真高兴！但是为什么要我们等这么长的时间呢？”

　　“嗯，直到现在，”男孩说，“每件事都很正常啊。”


英语笑话大全 爆笑带翻译五：Early Shopping 购物过早

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolentmood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are youcharged with?" he asked.

时值圣诞节，所以法官在审讯犯人时动了恻隐之心。

“你为什么被控告?”他问道。

"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied thedefendant.

“我圣诞节购物太早了。”被告回答。

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How earlywere you doing this shopping?"

“这并没有犯法。”法官回答：“你多早就去购物了?”

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

“商店还没开门呢。”犯人回答道。


英语笑话大全 爆笑带翻译刘：我又不认识那个女人！

    A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman siting on a bench, passionately kissing.

　　"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.

　　"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"

　　 中文：

　　一对在公园散步的夫妇注意到坐在长凳上的那对年轻男女正在热烈地接吻。

　　“为什么你不能那样做呢？”妻子说。

　　“亲爱的，”她丈夫回答，“我又不认识那个女人！”